I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
