I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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