My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
