how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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