I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
