I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
