she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
