Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
