OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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