If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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