this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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