I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
