k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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