it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
