I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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