i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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