watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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