quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
