Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
