I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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