Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
