Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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