We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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