I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
