i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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