no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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