what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
