nut hugger
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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