Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
