I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
