i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
