I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
