Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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