I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
