After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
