C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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