i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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