2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
