Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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