They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
