Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
