I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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