Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
