Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Someone came in the potted fern
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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