I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
