I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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