We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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