wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
