can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
