she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
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